Yeah...

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 03/02/2018 at 22:00 • Filed to: house shopping

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If we could just take this house, and move it somewhere NOT next to the sketch O’Reillys on Broadway, that’d be greaaaaat.

Like... not on Lombard... or facing 15th. Like Rockerfeller? Colby? Rucker? Hoyt? Oakes?!?!? A whole two blocks west? Again: that’d be just greaaaaaaaat.

https://www.redfin.com/WA/Everett/1501-Lombard-Ave-98201/home/2702739

Much of Everett is this problem: literally a block or two of lateral movement makes all the difference in quality of neighborhood, property values, crime, and so on. See also: Grand Avenue north of 19th, versus south of 19th.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:07

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They couldn’t replace the microwave!?!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 03/02/2018 at 22:08

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Remind me to never show you my kitchen

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:10

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As a window washer, this is the type of home I dream of being called out to.

Also, good luck with the search!

And wow that’s a fantastic driveway/garage/covered area space...

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:12

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I hear big walls are in right now. Just build a wall. Make it ‘uge

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 03/02/2018 at 22:13

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Ramblers: because don’t have to hire a window washer if you can wash them yourself.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:15

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I’m not thinking that garage is a safe space for anything of value.

jkm7680 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:16

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Move to New Orleans, where you can have a block of million dollar houses and then be in the hood the next block over.

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:18

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Yeah but what about that skylight!

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:18

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What is with real estate photographers around here? Every image is ridiculously over saturated to the point of looking fake, they all use fish eye lenses to make everything look bigger, and they carefully frame to hide how shitty the location is (because if it is in our price range, it’s not an amazing location/situation and/or the structures are garbage).

The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:18

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A double car garage & car port (with the hight for a lift). You would need to buy a Celica to full the space.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 03/02/2018 at 22:19

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Two replacable cars, and a hammer. Just don’t let anyone see you using a compressor, pressure washer, impact drills, or any tools of minor value.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock 03/02/2018 at 22:20

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Chinook

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 03/02/2018 at 22:21

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I’d remove it and throw it into the ocean, like I wish I could with mine.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/02/2018 at 22:26

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You’ll love this photography then.

Looks alright, yeah?

Google street view to the rescue:

Also, yes. I’m 30 and I watch Spongebob.

fintail > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/02/2018 at 22:35

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No fake blue skies though, these are quite realistic compared to some I see.

ranwhenparked > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/02/2018 at 22:38

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There’s a realtor that advertises constantly on the radio around here, and she brags about taking photos with a fish eye lens, as if its some sort of industry secret that only she knows to do. And, also, as if people won’t notice the actual size when they walk through the house.

dogisbadob > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:48

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There is nothing wrong with being close to an auto parts store :o)

AestheticsInMotion > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 22:50

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Is it failed, or is it placed in just the right spot to get sun directly in your eyes?

AestheticsInMotion > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/02/2018 at 23:01

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The saturation thing is so annoying. I can only imagine them paying an arm and a leg for professional photos, then editing said photos themselves prior to putting up the listing

Ash78, voting early and often > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/02/2018 at 23:07

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See also: every gentrified neighborhood ever. People love to live a block from crime, it feels “authentic” or something.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > fintail 03/02/2018 at 23:10

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Yeah, they saturate/adjust color levels to get a magic blue sky whenever possible. I forgot that one.

SMH

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 03/02/2018 at 23:11

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I need to hire someone for my lone skylight. Hate that thing...

fintail > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 03/02/2018 at 23:13

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Especially in houses located in the bullseye of the convergence zone. You won’t be seeing that sun for about 7 months out of the year.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AestheticsInMotion 03/02/2018 at 23:18

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Failed. Multiple times.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > AestheticsInMotion 03/03/2018 at 00:03

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A lot of modern “photographers” oversaturate like crazy when working in digital. This is partially because the dynamic range of digital is awful, so they always look washed out in some aspect, which they try to cover with saturation. The problem is that almost every younger one I’ve encountered overdoes it to a ridiculous extent.

Our wedding photographer was the most tortured search we made, with me shooting down at least a hundred options I was given based on their examples (and the couple interviews where I was going to accept mediocrity to get it over with). The one we (really, I) hired was interesting: Her examples (of which she had thousands on end) were well framed and balanced, they didn’t have extreme saturation, they didn’t have any fake OOF areas (meaning she actually has decent lenses and knows how to use them), and seemed to avoid the tropes/memes of wedding photographers. What’s funny is that we found her after all that extreme frustration from a posting on CL - 95% of the time she does destination weddings, she lives most of the year in SE Asia (they spent the 3 months prior to my wedding in Cambodia), had to travel to the US with her husband to shoot our wedding, and we interviewed her over Skype. During the interview she also had the best technical knowledge... The funniest thing? She was half the price of everyone else and we threw her every bone we could to increase her price, including paying to have her husband work as a second photographer. She also didn’t play games with licensing, reuse, watermarking, or other crap that most people do around here...

Sorry for that long departure. Real Estate photography is just concentrated terrible.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 03/03/2018 at 05:48

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get in early and pray for gentrification